• Dennis Guyvan

Do you feel like you deserve more?

Updated: Jun 16

-Do you feel okay with where you are but deep down want more?

-Is it difficult to motivate yourself to do something big, to open some new door?

-Do you want to achieve a lot in your life? Then this information is for you.

Most of my life coaching clients answer yes to most or all of these questions at the beginning of our coaching journey. They want to become more ambitious, they want to have more, they want to be more.

Have you ever heard about this coaching theme: “Gratitude will attract more of what you want into your life ?” Have you heard that we need to celebrate more of what you have today to get even more tomorrow? Actually, it can make you stuck if you misuse it.

What do I mean by that?

- Gratitude can destroy your hunger and desire. When you are grateful your focus is only on the past and/or present. Metaphorically speaking, you are looking in the rear-view mirror and what happens in your car at that moment. Hunger is on the other hand when you look further down the road. When you focus on what you do not have right now but is possible in the future. If you do not cultivate your hunger and only focus on gratitude- you will stop on the highway. You will forget where you are going and you will be at peace with that.

So I believe that there are two main components to achievement: gratitude and hunger. Not one or another. There are two. They go together. These are two sides of the same coin and they are inseparable. For high achievers, it is crucial to remember this.

How do I combine those two?

The balance here is crucial. I like the 80/20 formula. 80% gratitude, 20% hunger (possibilities for improvement). Otherwise, If you focus only on the gratitude you will lose drive. The opposite is true if you focus only on the things that you do not have - you most likely are going to get overwhelmed and break down emotionally. Balance is crucial in a life coaching process and in life in general.

How do I cultivate hunger?

There are a few great and quick exercises that I do with my clients during coaching sessions to help them open the door to their possibilities a bit more. I want to share them here and I highly encourage you to do that with me right now. That will help you to really get what I am talking about here.

  1. Find your favorite place: it can be at home, by the ocean, in mountains, surrounded by people who inspire, etc. Put your favorite music in, ask yourself these few questions and start writing the answers down for at least 10-15 min. The key here is to keep writing whatever comes to your head.

  • What do you really want? What do really want to have, to do, to be, to share?

  • If you knew you could not fail what would you do? Who would you be? Let yourself feel like a king/ a queen.

  • What specifically do you want? For example, how exactly would you like that house to look like? What qualities will that friend or significant other have?

Key: It is important at this point not to think about how to make this all happen. Just let yourself dream and go full-on. Create the list and keep writing for at least 10-15 minutes.

2. Once you are done with that exercise, keep the door of the opportunities open for yourself. For the next few days keep noticing what you want, who you want to be, what you want to do. Keep collecting new desires to build that list. Remember to separate dreaming from planning; creativity from the organization.

I hope you like this simple coaching tool. Keep dreaming, that is where your hunger is. I believe that hunger and gratitude are the most important elements in the life coaching process and in any growth and improvement.

“ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. ”
Eleanor Roosevelt

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