I remember myself being in that dark room, all alone, entangled with a deep sense of despair. I remember saying to myself that I will take whatever actions it takes to transform my life. I wanted to be happy and to feel secure. I asked myself what could give me that? I instantly came up with a list that included living in a different country, having a prestigious job, driving sports cars, living in a beautiful condo, marrying a wonderful woman, etc. So, I created a very vivid image of how I wanted my life to be. I had my target, and it was time for action. I still do those imaginary exercises with my clients. I found them very powerful and motivational.

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I needed a lot of courage to make my dream real. What could give me courage? A boxing club, I thought. For five years, boxing was my main passion. I was in a gym for at least three hours a day. I started going to tournaments, and a few years later, I won an international boxing championship. It brought me some relief and also made me feel courageous, and therefore more confident to take on new challenges.

 

Then I challenged myself even more by emigrating from Ukraine to the USA. It took me another five years, around thirty jobs, an interstate move, and many other barricades along the way, but I accomplished my vision. The image that I created ten years prior became a reality! Here I was in the USA, working at a prestigious job, having the expensive car that I dreamed of, living in a beautiful place by the lake, married to a wonderful woman, yet it felt like something else was missing here. I was following the shallow symbols of success that I have been hearing about all my life from people around me.

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I felt like I had accomplished a lot, but didn't have a sense of fulfillment.

 

I felt that there was something wrong with me.

 

I felt that I didn't belong where I was in life.

 

I was berating myself for not being able to move forward in life.

I realized that I was not following my TRUE DESIRES and VALUES. Some of those achievements, like my job, were not fulfilling to me. They were based on the values and norms of other people, not my own.